Funny Love Quotes, Famous Inspirational Short Sayings, Life, Poem, Cute, Movie, Friendship

Health Advice

2008-07-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

Mission Accomplished

2008-07-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

Barack Obama - Lincoln

2008-06-08T23:15:00.000-07:00

Major Disasters Around The World

2008-05-31T02:40:00.000-07:00

Major Disasters Around the World...

Whats the Difference?

2008-03-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

Four More Years?

2008-03-06T20:11:00.000-08:00

Real Life Vs Politics

2008-03-05T13:11:00.000-08:00

Comic: History of Black and White Relations

2008-01-06T06:23:00.000-08:00

Ron Paul on Larry King

2008-01-04T01:03:00.000-08:00

Unaired interview of Ron Paul on Larry King Live. This is a must see and I hope people pressure CNN to air it. Its a real shame it wasn't shown before the Iowa Caucus.

Safe Sex Education

2007-12-28T10:02:00.000-08:00

Ron Paul Revolution

2007-12-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

The best candidate ever - Ron Paul

Keith Olbermann on Bill Moyers Journal

2007-12-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

Keith Olbermann's Interview with Bill Moyers on December 15th.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Against Gun Control

2007-12-16T10:56:00.000-08:00

Why do mass shootings happen in "gun free zones"? Because people can't carry guns for self defense in those zones.

Meditation Increases Attention - Study by Scientific American

2007-12-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

This video shows how neuroscientists have discovered a real world example of how meditation can increase your attention to notice things that non-meditators can't.

In the study, subjects are shown 2 objects at a half-second gap and they miss the second object. After 3 months of meditation their results improve significantly.

When you're concentrating on something and miss something else that should be obvious, that's the attentional blink. New research shows that meditators can avoid this gap in perception.

Such Meditation practices can help with Attention Deficit Disorder and other similar mental illnesses.

Top 10 Quotes of 2007

2007-12-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Quotes taken from Time.com

#1. "I really am not the kind of guy that sits here and says, 'Oh gosh, I'm worried about my legacy.'"

— President GEORGE W. BUSH, when asked about his falling approval numbers and mounting criticism of the Iraq War during an interview with CBS' 60 Minutes (Jan. 14, 2007)

#2. "In Iran, we don't have homosexuals, like in your country."

— MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, president of Iran, responding to a question about the treatment of gays and lesbians in Iran during a visit to Columbia University in New York City (Sept. 24, 2007)

#3. "This record is not tainted at all. At all. Period.

— San Francisco Giants slugger BARRY BONDS, after breaking Hank Aaron's Major League Baseball all-time home-run record with his 756th career homer amid rampant speculation that he has used steroids. Bonds has always denied that he ever "knowingly" used performance-enhancing substances, but he was indicted in November for allegedly lying to a federal grand jury about using them (Aug. 7, 2007)

#4. "If you didn't like Darfur, you're going to hate Baghdad."

— Gen. DAVID H. PETRAEUS, warning of the consequences of an early troop withdrawal from Iraq (Aug. 14, 2007)

#5. "This is it. This is where it all ends. End of the road. What a life it was. Some life."

— Virginia Tech gunman CHO SEUNG-HUI, in a chilling video he made and sent to NBC News before killing 32 people and committing suicide in the deadliest school shooting in U.S. history (Apr. 16, 2007)

#6. "I don't think they're piling on because I'm a woman. I think they're piling on because I'm winning."

— HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON, on intensifying criticism by rivals for the Democratic presidential nomination (Nov. 2, 2007)

#7. "The planet is in distress and all of the attention is on Paris Hilton. We have to ask ourselves what is going on here?"

— AL GORE, in an interview with the British paper The Sun, before adding that he believes in 10 years it will be too late to save the planet (June 18, 2007)

#8. "I spent the better part of the past three months enduring criticism that is normally leveled at some kind of genocidal tyrant."

— RUPERT MURDOCH, News Corp. owner, on the outcry over his purchase of the Wall Street Journal (Aug. 8, 2007)

#9. "Hello, Condoleezza Rice? You have me to deal with now."

— A MASKED HAMAS GUNMAN, joking into the telephone of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas after taking control of his government compound (June 15, 2007)

#10. "Why don't you just shut up?"

— KING JUAN CARLOS, of Spain, to Hugo Chávez at a summit in Chile after the Venezuelan President called former Spanish Prime Minister José María Aznar a fascist (Nov. 10, 2007)

Top 100 Motivational Quotes

2007-12-13T07:58:00.000-08:00

1. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.
- Aristotle

2. The best way out is always through.
- Robert Frost

3. Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
- William B. Sprague

4. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein

5. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
- Henry Ford

6. I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.
- Oprah Winfrey

7. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan

8. You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi

9. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
- Goethe

10. You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.
- Zig Ziglar

11. Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
- Mahatma Gandhi

12. Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.
- Napoleon Hill

13. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
- Truman Capote

14. Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare.
- Japanese Proverb

15. In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing.
- Theodore Roosevelt

16. If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a chance of being a prophet.
- Isaac B. Singer

17. Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.
- Unknown

18. Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
- Charles F. Kettering, Engineer and Inventor

19. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain

20. Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success.
- Unknown

21. Some succeed because they are destined. Some succeed because they are determined.
- Unknown

22. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford

23. Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.
- Albert Einstein

24. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
- Hugh Downs

25. If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
- Marie Osmond

26. Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.
- Roy Goodman

27. If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.
- E. Joseph Cossman

28. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

29. We judge of man's wisdom by his hope.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

30. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain

31. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain

32. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain

33. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

34. The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.
- Richard B. Sheridan

35. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

36. "Act or accept."
- Unanonymous

37. Many great ideas go unexecuted, and many great executioners are without ideas. One without the other is worthless.
- Tim Blixseth

38. The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape.
- Bono

39. Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
- Dr Phil

40. Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.
- Stephen R. Covey

41. People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.
- Norman Vincent Peale

42. Whenever you find whole world against you just turn around and lead the world.
- Anonymous

43. Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant, Author and Advice Columnist

44. I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened by old ones.
- John Cage

45. Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.
- Albert Einstein

46. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
- Unknown

47. The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Unknown

48. Anyone can do something when they WANT to do it. Really successful people do things when they don't want to do it.
- Dr. Phil

49. There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
- Dr. Denis Waitley

50. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.
- Sir Winston Churchill

51. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

52. Attitudes are contagious. Make yours worth catching.
- Unknown

53. Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden

54. There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it.
- Mario Cuomo

55. Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.
- Richard Bach

56. Vision doesn't usually come as a lightening bolt. Rather it comes as a slow crystallization of life challenges that we one day recognize as a beautiful diamond with great value to ourselves and others.
- Dr. Michael Norwood

57. Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.
- Dr. Joyce Brothers

58. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
- Samuel Beckett

59. Flops are a part of life's menu and I've never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses.
- Rosalind Russell

60. Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die

- Ray Norda, Chairman, Novell

61. Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track.
- Matthew Keith Groves

62. An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it.
- Bill Bernbach

63. An obstacle is often a stepping stone.
- Prescott

64. Life is "trying things to see if they work"
Ray Bradbury

65. If you worry about yesterday's failures, then today's successes will be few.
Anonymous

66. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
Dennis P. Kimbro

67. We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

68. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

69. In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Thomas Jefferson

70. I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.
Albert Einstein

71. Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.
Machiavelli.

72. Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
Mahatma Gandhi

73. "You are what you think about all day long." -- Dr. Robert Schuller

74. What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say" -- Ralph Waldo Emerson"

75. “Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.”
Booker T. Washington

76. "Talent is formed in solitude, character in the bustle of the world."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

77. “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”
- Elbert Hubbard

78. If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
- J.M. Power

79. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day
- Robert Frost

80. “I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
- Maya Angelou

81. “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”
- William James

82. “When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'”
- Sydney Harris

83. “Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.”
- Richard L. Evans

84. “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.”
- Robert Frost

85. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt

86. Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
- Seneca

87. Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter Drucker.

88. The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
- Foster's Law

89. Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it.
- Joe Clark

90. I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill

91. Positive anything is better than negative thinking.
- Elbert Hubbard

92. People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

93. Those who wish to sing, always find a song.
- Swedish Proverb

94. If you're going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

95. The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

96. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
- Voltaire

97. Enduring habits I hate.... Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits.
- Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1882

98. There is no education like adversity.
- Disraeli

99. He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

100. Adversity introduces a man to himself.
- Author Unknown

Best Iraq War Poster

2007-12-07T09:09:00.000-08:00

Top 12 Funniest Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

2007-12-03T06:23:00.000-08:00

1. Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

2. Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.

3. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

4. When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

5. One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

6. I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

7. A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

8. If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.

9. Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

10. And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!

11. I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

12. I have a mean kid too. Why he puts krazy glue in my preparation H.

Seven Blunders of the World

2007-11-30T23:12:00.000-08:00

The Seven Blunders of the World is a list that Mahatma Gandhi gave to his grandson Arun Gandhi, written on a piece of paper, on their final day together, not too long before his assassination. The seven blunders are:

Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Knowledge without character
Commerce without morality
Science without humanity
Worship without sacrifice
Politics without principle

This list grew from Gandhi's search for the roots of violence. He called these acts of passive violence. Preventing these is the best way to prevent oneself or one's society from reaching a point of violence.

To this list, Arun Gandhi added an eighth blunder, Rights without responsibilities.

Drug Free America

2007-11-20T21:33:00.000-08:00

Click on the image to make it larger.

How Do We Beat the Bitch?

2007-11-18T09:15:00.000-08:00

Top 55 Tech Quotes

2007-11-14T09:59:00.000-08:00

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

4. 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL

9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN

10. -{----- The information went data way --------[

11. Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression

12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

14. The name is Baud......, James Baud.

15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

17. C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..

19. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.

23. E Pluribus Modem

24. ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny

26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/n)?

29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?

30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

31. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.

32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?

37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

40. All computers wait at the same speed.

41. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

42. Go ahead, make my data!

43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

50. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!

55. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ...

Best Love Story in Three Pictures

2007-10-28T00:11:00.000-07:00

Dubai's Newspaper Posted This Unbelievable Ad on 9/11

2007-09-18T22:51:00.000-07:00

His Kid Vs. Your Kid

2007-09-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

Top 8 Greatest Tech Quotes

2007-07-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

1. Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare.Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false.

2. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.

3. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"

4. Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

5. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

6. Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.

7. Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes.

8. What do people mean when they say, "The computer went down on me."

Quotes on Character

2007-07-18T03:08:00.000-07:00

If you really want to judge the character of a man, look not at his great performances. Every fool may become a hero at one time or another. Watch a man do his most common actions; these are indeed the things which will tell you the real character of a great man.

- Swami Vivekananda

Inspiration is much higher than reason, but it must not contradict it. Reason is the rough tool to do the hard work; inspiration is the bright light which shows us all truth. The will to do a thing is not necessarily inspiration.

- Swami Vivekananda

Philosophy Quotes

2007-07-07T04:10:00.000-07:00

We come to enjoy; we are being enjoyed. We came to rule; we are being ruled. We came to work; we are being worked. All the time, we find that. And this comes into every detail of our life. We are being worked upon by other minds, and we are always struggling to work on other minds. We want to enjoy the pleasures of life, and they eat into our vitals. We want to get everything from nature, but we find in the long run that nature takes everything from us - depletes us, and casts up aside.

Gas Prices Around The World

2007-06-23T03:41:00.000-07:00

US is still has one of the lowest gas prices in the world.

Looking for inspiration? What about friendship and love? Well, don't look too hard, you'll hurt yourself. In the meantime, check out our free dating sites. There's bound to be someone out there to keep you company.

Famous Quotes

2007-06-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

"When Alexander the Great visited Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for the famed teacher, Diogenes replied: 'Only stand out of my light.' Perhaps some day we shall know how to heighten creativity. Until then, one of the best things we can do for creative men and women is to stand out of their light."
- John W. Gardner

"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last."
- Winston Churchill

"I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now."
- Anonymous

Bush's Campaign Against Jesus

2007-06-19T02:30:00.000-07:00

Young Kid Gets Owned by Ron Paul

2007-06-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes

2007-06-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Every church is a stone on the grave of a god-man: it does not want him to rise up again under any circumstances.

Fear is the mother of morality.

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

Robert Frost Quotes

2007-06-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It Goes On.

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.

Aristotle Quotes

2007-06-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.

Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.

If things do not turn out as we wish, we should wish for them as they turn out.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

Famous Quotes

2007-05-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.
- John F. Kennedy

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
- Barnett Brickner

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Tom Stoppard

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
- Frank Leahy

Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know.
- Bertrand Russell

Keith Olbermann Special Comment on the Democrats

2007-05-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

Ron Paul in the Situation Room

2007-05-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

Get Ron Paul on Meet the Press

2007-05-17T23:54:00.000-07:00

Tim Russert said on "Meet the Press" this morning that he will beinterviewing only "major" candidates in his "Meet the Candidates" series. Email and let him know that you consider Ron Paul a major candidate.

Please send him an email here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6872152/

101 Greatest Quotes from George Carlin

2007-05-13T03:18:00.000-07:00

1. I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!

2. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

3. Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

4. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

5. Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

6. I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.

7. I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American — you know, you grow.

8. You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

9. If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?

10. Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

11. If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

12. No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.

13. There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

14. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

15. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

16. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

17. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

18. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

19. If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.

20. If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.

21. You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

22. Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.

23. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”

24. As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.

25. If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

26. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

27. I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

28. I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

29. If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.

30. You can prick your finger — just don’t finger your prick.

31. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

32. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

33. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

34. I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.

35. I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

36. When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.

37. Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.

38. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.

39. I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don’t trust any organization that has a handbook.

40. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

41. Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.

42. So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.

43. Catholic — which I was until I reached the age of reason.

44. Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

45. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.

46. Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.

47. Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

48. God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.

49. I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

50. One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

51. If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?

52. What year did Jesus think it was?

53. George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

54. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

55. In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

56. Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

57. “One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

58. No one who has had “Taps” played for them has ever been able to hear it.

59. Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

60. The best thing about living at the water’s edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.

61. The future will soon be a thing of the past.

62. The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

63. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

64. Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

65. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

66. I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.

67. Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

68. “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

69. Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

70. And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”

71. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

72. Whoever coined the term “Buyer Beware” was probably bleeding from the asshole.

73. Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

74. Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

75. I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.

76. Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.

77. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.

78. If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.

79. “Meow” means “woof” in cat.

80. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

81. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

82. “No comment” is a comment.

83. If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

84. You can’t argue with a good blowjob.

85. Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying.

86. So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

87. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.

88. Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

89. When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn’t a lot worth paying attention to.

90. The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.

91. I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

92. If the cops didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!

93. Hooray for most things!

94. Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.

95. I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

96. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

97. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

98. Life is a zero sum game.

99. Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.

100. I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

101. It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.

Great Quotes by Henry David Thoreau

2007-05-10T05:22:00.000-07:00

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.

A perfectly healthy sentence, it is true, is extremely rare. For the most part we miss the hue and fragrance of the thought; as if we could be satisfied with the dews of the morning or evening without their colors, or the heavens without their azure.

A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.

Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.

The world is but a canvas to the imagination.

Ron Paul - One of the Best Candidates We Have Ever Had

2007-05-08T12:54:00.000-07:00

Ron Paul is one of the best candidates we have ever had. I have found some information about him from Digg.com and other sources.

Please spread the word about him because the media isn't doing it. If you are a blogger I highly encourage you to post his videos and show the people they have a real option instead of just choosing a puppet from the left or the puppet from the right.

Brief Overview of Congressman Paul's Record

* He has never voted to raise taxes.
* He has never voted for an unbalanced budget.
* He has never voted for a federal restriction on gun ownership.
* He has never voted to raise congressional pay.
* He has never taken a government-paid junket.
* He has never voted to increase the power of the executive branch.
* He voted against the Patriot Act.
* He voted against regulating the Internet.
* He voted against the Iraq war.

Ron Paul on the federal reserve

Dorm room interview part 1
Dorm room interview part 4

Announcing his Candidacy for President
The GOP Debate
WMUR questions
Unaffordable war
Dartmouth college interview

AND he's against the North "American" Union

Mike Gravel on The Colbert Report

2007-05-07T13:04:00.001-07:00

Ron Paul at the GOP Presidential Debate

2007-05-04T04:22:00.000-07:00

This is a montage of Congressman Ron Paul at the GOP Presidential Debate held at the Reagan Library on May 3rd, 2007. Ron Paul and Mike Gravel stick out as the only refreshing candidates who are not afraid who do not give canned responses that everyone wants to hear.

Representative Ron Paul was spectacular and brilliant, pointing out the house of cards for what it is.

Chris Matthews Interviews Mike Gravel

2007-04-30T05:30:00.000-07:00

Excellent comment by a Digg user about the campaign of Mike Gravel.

"My message to the Digg community and those who are aware/pessimistic of Mr. Gravel's campaign is this:

The chances may seem slim for him to be elected President because of our outlook of society and those currently inhabiting it. But because of this assumption and doubt, we are already creating failure in our own minds and those who read it. We MUST realize that we, as a nation - and above all else - a society of equal human beings - is that his presidency IS POSSIBLE. We as a nation are in a disastrous war BECAUSE OF OUR APATHY AND PASSIVE ATTITUDE - we must not let this continue any farther. Whether you're a Republican, Democrat,or a human being - I am positive you can all agree upon the value of life - no matter what your definition of it is. So if you truly value Mr. Gravel's candidacy PLEASE express your voice, your power, you individuality. If you do not, then please express yourself to those who you feel properly represent you. The message here is less of "Go Gravel! Go!" but a message in hope that individuals such as yourself will triumph through even when the odds "appear" to be stacked against you. We must NOT FAIL OURSELVES."

We may be weak alone, but there IS strength in numbers. It all starts with one person, one moment. Let us bring a better future for our children, and our children's children. We CAN do this. For the sake of society as we hope it, we NEED to do this."

Bill Moyers Interviews Jon Stewart

2007-04-29T22:42:00.000-07:00

Bill Moyers interviews Jon Stewart from the Daily Show. They discuss everything from virginia tech shooting to government transparency, to the war on terror.

The Best Candidate So Far - Mike Gravel

2007-04-29T02:02:00.000-07:00

Mike Gravel is the best candidate from the Democratic side so far. Now lets just hope he wins.

Most Controversial Quotes by Hitler

2007-04-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

Chamberlain seemed such a nice old gentleman that I thought I would give him my autograph.

The art of leadership... consists in consolidating the attention of the people against a single adversary and taking care that nothing will split up that attention.

Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.

I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature.

If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.

It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge.

Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.

Quotes on Charity

2007-04-27T13:39:00.000-07:00

So long as millions live in hunger and ignorance, I hold every person a traitor who, having been educated at their expense, pays not the least heed to them.

- Quotes on Charity by Swami Vivekananda

Quotes on Religion

2007-04-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

My name should not be made prominent. It is my ideas that I want to see realized. The disciples of all the prophets have always inextricably mixed up the ideas of the Master with person, and at last killed the ideas for the person.

- Swami Vivekananda Quotes on Religion

Top 10 Love Quotes

2007-04-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

10) Passionate love is a quenchless thirst.
Quote by Kahlil Gibran.

9) Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important.
Quote by Lisa Hoffman.

8) Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity.
- Quotes by Henry Van Dyke.

7)Love is a canvas furnished by Nature
and embroidered by imagination.
- Love Quotes by Voltaire.

6) Love is an energy - it can neither be created
nor destroyed. It just is and always will be,
giving meaning to life and direction to goodness...
Love will never die.
Quotes by Bryce Courtney.

5) Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength
while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Quotes by Lao-Tsu.

4) Tell me who admires and loves you,
And I will tell you who you are.

3) Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.

2) You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.
- Hermann Hesse Famous Love Quotes

1) I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.
- Robert Fulghum

Video - Bill Maher New Rules 4/20

2007-04-24T03:26:00.000-07:00

Bill Maher's commentary on the new phenomena of disappearing bees.

Famous Quotes

2007-04-24T01:09:00.000-07:00

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
- Famous Quotes by Plato

We don't accomplish anything in this world alone, and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.
- Short Quotes by Sandra Day O'Connor

Not ignorance, but ignorance of ignorance, is the death of knowledge.
- Alfred North Whitehead Short Quotes

Late Night Show Quotes

2007-04-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

It’s tax season. Earlier to day, Britney Spears checked herself into an H&R Block.
- David Letterman Quotes

New York was so cold today, people were shaking like Don Imus at the Apollo Theatre.
- Jay Leno Quotes

According to Glamour magazine, it takes the average woman 11 minutes to get aroused. The problem is that by the time the average woman is aroused the guy’s been asleep for nine minutes.
- Jay Leno Quotes

Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter has filed papers to run for president, but in his official filing, he misspelled the word 'president.' Political experts say it's all part of Hunter's plan to attract Bush supporters.
-Conan O'Brien

Inspiration can come in many forms. If you need a reminder of that person most special to you, consider getting them a love charm. Our wholesale silver charms and jewelry are the best in the industry. If you're looking for wholesale sterling, look no further. Inpiration is a click away!

Funny Quotes

2007-04-09T03:03:00.000-07:00

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Edison Funny Quotes and Sayings

The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
- Carl Sandburg Funny Sayings

Benjamin Franklin Quotes

2007-04-06T01:38:00.000-07:00

Who is wise? He that learns from every One.
Who is powerful? He that governs his Passions.
Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.

- Benjamin Franklin Famous Short Quotes

Famous Funny Quotes

2007-04-04T10:44:00.000-07:00

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
- Contributed by Douglas Novack

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
- Famous quote by Susan B. Anthony

Chris Rock Quotes

2007-03-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

When LIFE asked comic Chris Rock if America is ready for an African American president, Rock tells LIFE:

"It's ready for a retarded president, why wouldn't it be ready for an African American president?"

Success Quotes - Motivational, Inspirational

2007-03-06T12:15:00.000-08:00

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes

Ron Paul slashes Bush

2007-02-22T02:05:00.000-08:00

Daily Quotes

2007-02-05T10:48:00.000-08:00

There is wisdom in turning as often as possible from the familiar to the unfamiliar: it keeps the mind nimble, it kills prejudice, and it fosters humor.
- George Santayana Short Quotes

None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

This week at a fashion show in Rome, a line of dresses were introduced that feature huge pictures of Hillary Clinton’s face. When he heard this, Bill Clinton said, "Finally, Hillary’s face on another woman’s body.”
- Conan O' Brien

UNDERWEAR GOES INSIDE THE PANTS

2007-01-11T22:23:00.000-08:00

Taken from the stand up routine of brilliant comic Greg Geraldo..

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what’s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?”
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is…
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What’s going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don’t just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think?
They’re not masterminds.
“OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?”
“Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…”
“Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”

Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
“How’d you get through it grandpa?”
“Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I’ll sit at a drive thru.
I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
“You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.”

We’re in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date.
I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.

Top 20 Quotes on Sex

2006-11-06T10:17:00.000-08:00

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Average Joe against Bush

2006-10-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

Video of an average guy saying all the right things. Its amazing how our president is an average guy but still can't understand it.

Top Ten Signs You Might Be White Trash

2006-10-11T13:36:00.000-07:00

Taken from the comedy material of Jeff Foxworthy:

You think a stock tip is
advice on worming' your hogs.

Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law.

You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company

Your sister is the third generation
of women in your family to conceive
a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

You may be a Redneck if ...
You and your dog use the same tree.

Inpiring Quotes

2006-10-02T14:30:00.000-07:00

What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.
- John Ruskin Inspirational Quotes

People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools.
- Alice Walker Short Funny Quotes

Whenever morality is based on theology, whenever right is made dependent on divine authority, the most immoral, unjust, infamous things can be justified and established.
- Ludwig Feuerbach Quotes on Religion

Mark Twain on Patriotism vs Christianity

2006-09-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot--except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart. The spirit of Christianity proclaims the brotherhood of the race and the meaning of that strong word has not been left to guesswork, but made tremendously definite- the Christian must forgive his brother man all crimes he can imagine and commit, and all insults he can conceive and utter- forgive these injuries how many times?--seventy times seven--another way of saying there shall be no limit to this forgiveness. That is the spirit and the law of Christianity.

Well--Patriotism has its laws. And it also is a perfectly definite one, there are not vaguenesses about it. It commands that the brother over the border shall be sharply watched and brought to book every time he does us a hurt or offends us with an insult. Word it as softly as you please, the spirit of patriotism is the spirit of the dog and wolf. The moment there is a misunderstanding about a boundary line or a hamper of fish or some other squalid matter, see patriotism rise, and hear him split the universe with is war-whoop. The spirit of patriotism being in its nature jealous and selfish, is just in man's line, it comes natural to him- he can live up to all its requirements to the letter; but the spirit of Christianity is not in its entirety possible to him.

The prayers concealed in what I have been saying is, not that patriotism should cease and not that the talk about universal brotherhood should cease, but that the incongruous firm be dissolved and each limb of it be required to transact business by itself, for the future.
- Mark Twain's Notebook

Keith on Rumsfeld

2006-08-31T01:38:00.000-07:00

Excellent commentary by Keith Olbermann on the latest speech by Donald Rumsfeld.

Inspirational Quotes

2006-08-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.

- Martha Washington Inspirational Quotes

Philosophy Quotes

2006-08-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

Just as the wave cannot exist for itself, but is ever a part of the heaving surface of the ocean, so must I never live my life for itself, but always in the experience which is going on around me. It is an uncomfortable doctrine which the true ethics whisper into my ear. You are happy, they say; therefore you are called upon to give much.

- Famous Philosophy quotes Albert Schweitzer

Short Famous Quotes

2006-08-02T17:12:00.000-07:00

The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Short Qutes

In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes.
- John Ruskin Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

2006-06-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
- George Jean Nathan Famous Quotes

Daily Quotes

2006-06-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw funny quotes.

But there are some people, nevertheless - and I am one of them - who think that the most practical and important thing about a man is still his view of the universe. We think that for a landlady considering a lodger, it is important to know his income, but still more important to know his philosophy. We think that for a general about to fight an enemy, it is important to know the enemy's numbers, but still more important to know the enemy's philosophy.
- G. K. Chesterton Famous Quotes

Daily Quotes

2006-06-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe short quotes.

I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free than to a rich nation that had ceased to be in love with liberty. But we shall not be poor if we love liberty, because the nation that loves liberty truly sets every man free to do his best and be his best, and that means the release of all the splendid energies of a great people who think for themselves. A nation of employees cannot be free any more than a nation of employers can be.
- Woodrow Wilson Quotations

An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
- Charles Robert Darwin Quotes

Memorable Quotes

2006-06-08T01:17:00.000-07:00

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
- Short Quotes by David Frost

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
- Funny Quotes by Laurence J. Peter

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager."
- William S. Burroughs Famous Quotations

Success Quotes

2006-06-01T12:58:00.000-07:00

Short Quotes

2006-05-31T01:35:00.000-07:00

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns

Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
- Cullen Hightower

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
- Agnes de Mille

A martyr's disciples suffer more than the martyr.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Prayer of Saint Francis of Asisi

2006-05-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace,
Where there is hatred, let me so love,
Where there is injury, pardon,
where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
where there is sadness, joy,

Oh Divine Master, grant,
that I may not so much seek to be consoled
as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love,
for it is in giving that we receive,
But it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Very inspirational prayer from Saint Francis. If we can even live up to one line from this prayer our world would be a different place.

Famous Quotes and Quotations

2006-04-28T11:29:00.000-07:00

If there is a solution, then it isn't a problem.
- Contributed by an anonymous reader.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
- Famous Quotes by Samuel Johnson

Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
- Short Quotes by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We are so vain that we even care for the opinions of those we don't care for.
- Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830-1916) Austrian Novelist

"I am the thread that runs through all these pearls," and each pearl is a religion or even a sect thereof. Such are the different pearls, and God is the thread that runs through all of them; most people, however, are entirely unconscious of it.
- Vivekananda Inspirational Quotes

Short Famous Quotes. Inspirational Quotations

2006-04-23T19:08:00.000-07:00

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.
- Peter McArthur

You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
- Warren Beatty

What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization.
- Abraham H. Maslow (1908-1970) American Psychologist, Philosopher

A good parent is only as happy as their most unhappy child.
- Mrs. R. C. Goorney

Famous Funny Quotes. Short Motivations

2006-04-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

In words are seen the state of mind and character and disposition of the speaker.
- Motivational Quotes by Plutarch

Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.
- Short quotes General Patton

Being reproached for giving to an unworthy person, Aristotle said, 'I did not give it to the man, but to humanity.'
- Famous Quotes by Samuel Johnson

Short Quotes on Life. Happiness

2006-04-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
- Happiness quotes by CP Snow. Inspirational quotations.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
- Funny quotes by Fletcher Knebel

Short Funny Quotes. Motivational Quotations

2006-04-09T16:38:00.000-07:00

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.
- Short Funny Quotes by Jules Renard. Famous Motivational Quotations

Life is a long lesson in humility.
- Short quotes by James M. Barrie

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
- Famous Quotes by William Goldman

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
- Motivational quotes by Alan Kay

When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
- Best quotes by William Hazlitt

Short Quotes, Motivational Quotations and Sayings

2006-04-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

To know another language is to have a second soul.
- Motivational Quotes by Charlemagne. Short Famous Quotations.

Wise men never sit and wail their loss, but cheerily seek how to redress their harms.
- Short Quotations by William Shakespeare

Inspirational Quotes and Sayings

2006-03-21T22:31:00.000-08:00

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
- Elisabeth KuBler-Ross's Inspirational Quotes, Famous Quotations, Motivational Sayings

Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever.
- Short Quotes by Francois De La Rochefoucauld. Funny Quotations, Famous Sayings.

Short Quotes. Funny

2006-03-10T00:13:00.000-08:00

Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a Mexican to work tomorrow.
Chris Rock's short funny quotes. Famous

Short Funny Quotes. Famous Quotations

2006-02-22T14:54:00.000-08:00

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
- Short Funny Quotes by Jay Leno. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings.

There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.
- Inspirational Quotes by Pablo Picasso. Famous Quotations, Sayings.

Funny Sayings. Famous Quotes

2006-02-20T14:27:00.000-08:00

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.
- Short Sayings by Oscar Wilde. Short Quotes and Quotations

When the politicians complain that TV turns the proceedings into a circus, it should be made clear that the circus was already there, and that TV has merely demonstrated that not all the performers are well trained.
- Short Quotes by Edward R. Murrow. Famous Quotations. Inspirational, Motivational Sayings

All that I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.
- Famous Quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Short Sayings, Motivational, Inspiratioional Quotatations.

Short Sayings, Quotes, Quotations

2006-02-15T00:39:00.000-08:00

He who loves the world as his body may be entrusted with the empire.
- Short Quotes by Lao Tzu. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings. Motivational, Inspirational

Short Sayings, Quotations, Quotes

2006-02-10T15:59:00.000-08:00

Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult.
- Short Quotes by Samuel Johnson. Motivatinal Quotations.

I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.
- Famous Quotations by Orson Welles. Short Funny Quotes. Funny Sayings. Inpspirational, Motivational.

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
- Motivational Quotes, Famous Quotations by Bertrand Russell. Short Funny Sayings

All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
- Famous Quotes by Bobby Knight. Short Funny Quotations. Famous Sayings, Motivational

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.
- Short Quotes by Olin Miller. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings

A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things.
- Famous Short Quotes by Herman Melville. Funny Sayings, and Quotations

Famous Funny Quotes

2006-02-07T17:17:00.000-08:00

All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason.
- Short Quotes by Immanuel Kant. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings, Inspirational, Motivational

Formal religion was organized for slaves; it offered them consolation which earth did not provide.
- Short Funny Quotes by Elbert Green Hubbard. Inspirationa, Motivational Quotations, Sayings

Short Quotes. Famous, Motivational, Inspirational

2006-02-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

The man who does not do his own thinking is a slave, and is a traitor to himself and to his fellow-men.
- Short Funny Quotes by Robert Ingersoll. Famous Quotations, Inspirational Sayings, Motivational.

A gentleman that loves to hear himself talk, will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
- Short Famous Quotes by William Shakespeare. Famous Sayings, Inspirational Quotations, Motivational.

Famous Quotes and Sayings

2006-02-05T18:52:00.000-08:00

The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.
- Short Quotes by Albert Einstein. Famous Quotes, Inspirational Sayings, Motivational Quotations.

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost Famous Quotations, Sayings, Motivational, Inspirational

Best Quotes

2006-02-04T03:18:00.000-08:00

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.
- Best Short Quotes by Edward R. Murrow. Famous Quotations, Motivational Sayings, Best Funny Quotes

Short Famous Quotes

2006-02-02T22:25:00.000-08:00

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy.
- Short Quotes by Robert Anthony. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings, Motivational, Inspirational Quotes

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
- Short Famous Quotes by Doug Larson. Motivational Quotations, Funny Sayings

Famous Motivational Quotes

2006-02-02T01:13:00.000-08:00

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
- Short Funny Quotes and Sayings by Otto Von Bismarck. Motivational, Inspirational Quotations

Famous Inspirational Quotes

2006-02-01T14:15:00.000-08:00

Never judge a book by its movie.
- Short Quotes by JW Eagan

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
- Short Funny Quotes by Frank Leahy. Inspirational, Motivational Quotations

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
- Short Quotes by HL Mencken. Famous Quotations and Sayings

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
- Short Funny Quotes by Nancy Astor. Famous, Motivational, Inspirational Quotations and Sayings

Funny Famous Quotations

2006-01-31T18:12:00.000-08:00

The most tyrannical of governments are those which make crimes of opinions, for everyone has an inalienable right to his thoughts.
- Famous Short Quotes by Baruch Spinoza. Inspirational, Motivational

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
- Short Funny Quotes by Plutarch, Famous, Motivational

Motivational Quotes

2006-01-30T13:00:00.000-08:00

Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.
- Short Quotes by James A. Michener. Funny Famous Quotations, Sayings

You know youve achieved perfection in design, not when you have nothing more to add, but when you have nothing more to take away.
- Short Quotations by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. Inspirational Quotes, Sayings

There is absolutely no inevitability as long as there is a willingness to contemplate what is happening.
- Short Quotes by Marshall McLuhan. Famous Quotations. Funny Sayings.

In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves.
- Famous Quotations by RA Butler. Inspirational Sayings, Motivational Quotes.

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
- Famous Quotations by Tom Stoppard. Funny Sayings. Motivational, Inspirational

The big thieves hang the little ones.
- Funny Quotes from a Czech Proverb. Short Quotations. Famous, Inspirational Sayings

Short Quotes

2006-01-27T16:58:00.000-08:00

It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes Short Quotes, Inspirational, Motivational Quotations and Sayings

The people have a right to the truth as they have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
- Epictetus Inspirational Quotations, Short Funny Quotes. Famous Sayings

Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
- George Bernard Shaw Famous Quotations, Short Funny Quotes and Sayings