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Tuesday, September 18, 2007
His Kid Vs. Your Kid
3 comments:
Anonymous
said...
These are some reasons to join the military:
for honor for country for money free tuition travel abroad “blow shit up” because you hate brown people because you hate Muslims because you think you are going to do something good for our country because you are politically illiterate because you want to kill people for the adventure (good one) for the hookers near military bases, esp. coastal cities because you are not disciplined enough to do things on your own and you want somebody else to tell you what to do because you can’t get a job in the real world because your buddies “did it” because you parents did it because your brothers did it because it was expected of you “Taking a stand against terrorism” Yeah right… for the experience (this is a good one) to learn new things (good one too) to protect your country (another good one, if you are not starting wars with random countries and your commander in chief is not an idiot) for potential prestige (not bad) work experience (decent, too) to say you did it so you won’t be called a chicken-hawk because it makes you look brave because people will blindly see you as a hero, even if you don’t deserve the title because you want to know what a bullet feels like because you want to play with guns or tanks because it’s easier to follow orders than to think for yourself health care benefits dental benefits military discounts free flights between bases pay back your expensive college loans get to tell people what to do (at some point) advanced and technical training (nice choice) because you think God wants you to (lol) pension get to yell at foreign strangers you enjoy pain you enjoy inflicting pain because your recruiter lied to you (ouch) to get citizenship to be freed (if you were previously a slave) to get away from your parents you lost a bet to meet exotic women abroad you don’t care for your right leg (you are hoping you’ll be shot and compensated for it) you think you owe tribute to fallen soldiers to take revenge because you want to kill japs because you want to kill towelheads because you want to kill Nazis to find Osama Bin Laden and kick his ass (probably the greatest reason of all) to kill real terrorists (not Iraqi civilians) to kill Iraqi civilians because you think you can force people to be free, even when their idea of freedom is radically different from yours. to destroy Al Qaeda (another great reason) for a good career (maybe) to take out Saddam Hussein (no longer applicable) to prepare for a career with the CIA no more job hunting or resumes pride false pride because you liked the boy scouts or girl scouts you enjoy fighting you enjoy martial arts your parents or the politician near you won’t let you carry guns you want to learn new languages you are preparing to work for blackwater to protect Israel (even though they don’t need or deserve our protection anymore than their neighbors) because you think it’s your duty (…why?) you are preparing for a criminal career because you adore Hitler because you want to be a skilled, high-profile terrorist because you think you won’t be in the front lines because you were drafted because you were shafted because your parents made you because your family is way poor because you got your high school sweetheart pregnant (need money) because your girlfriend/boyfriend thinks men/women in uniforms are hot because you think men/women in uniforms are hot because you are gay (in the homosexual sense) to freak your parents out because your parents asked you not to because you hate yourself for the adrenaline rush you like to go camping/hiking/hunting to put your parents through hell because you are not worried about brain damage because you think you are invincible / indestructible because you are not worried about amputation / blindness (extremities are redundant anyway) because you look forward to begging for money on the streets as a war veteran because you were told you would never see combat because “more people get killed in NY than in Iraq” every day because you can “choose any job you want” (hahahaha) because you are not worried about blatant discrimination because you detest freedom (your own) because you didn’t realize there are many other ways to get all of the above to take part in history (not too bad) to become an officer (power) to learn 100 ways to kill someone to learn to defend yourself to learn to defend yourself if you ever lead a revolution because you thought you could quit anytime because you thought it would be easy because you want to learn to use nuclear weapons to fly a jet to learn to command a helicopter because it might be funner than Halo because you want to join a special operations team (even though you probably won’t make it due to competition) to learn to be a sniper (could be neat) because you enjoy war movies because you are not smart enough to do something else because you’ve always wondered what food in the military tastes like to march around in funny suits to join a band and wear funny suits to clean toilets with only toothbrushes and spit because it’s cool to get promoted to challenge yourself (another good one) to get strong to get lean to get in shape to be prepared in the event of a terrorist attack because you were abused as a child and want revenge (the training) to get a free nosejob free liposuction free breast enlargement breast augmentation facelift cosmetic surgery (courtesy of Donald Rumsfeld) your girlfriend/boyfriend wants you to get plastic surgery because you think you are patriotic because you don’t realize that the military is making things worse for the United States and the world. because you think you’ll be defending your country
EDIT: because you worship Bush (one of the worst reasons, probably) EDIT 2: No, because you worship Giuliani, lol
To Protest and Hate War. You Need Rights. If We Lost A War, You Wouldn't Have Those Rights To Hate It. So Love War For What It Is. Its Our Protection For Our Rights.
3 comments:
These are some reasons to join the military:
for honor
for country
for money
free tuition
travel abroad
“blow shit up”
because you hate brown people
because you hate Muslims
because you think you are going to do something good for our country
because you are politically illiterate
because you want to kill people
for the adventure (good one)
for the hookers near military bases, esp. coastal cities
because you are not disciplined enough to do things on your own and you want somebody else to tell you what to do
because you can’t get a job in the real world
because your buddies “did it”
because you parents did it
because your brothers did it
because it was expected of you
“Taking a stand against terrorism” Yeah right…
for the experience (this is a good one)
to learn new things (good one too)
to protect your country (another good one, if you are not starting wars with random countries and your commander in chief is not an idiot)
for potential prestige (not bad)
work experience (decent, too)
to say you did it
so you won’t be called a chicken-hawk
because it makes you look brave
because people will blindly see you as a hero, even if you don’t deserve the title
because you want to know what a bullet feels like
because you want to play with guns or tanks
because it’s easier to follow orders than to think for yourself
health care benefits
dental benefits
military discounts
free flights between bases
pay back your expensive college loans
get to tell people what to do (at some point)
advanced and technical training (nice choice)
because you think God wants you to (lol)
pension
get to yell at foreign strangers
you enjoy pain
you enjoy inflicting pain
because your recruiter lied to you (ouch)
to get citizenship
to be freed (if you were previously a slave)
to get away from your parents
you lost a bet
to meet exotic women abroad
you don’t care for your right leg (you are hoping you’ll be shot and compensated for it)
you think you owe tribute to fallen soldiers
to take revenge
because you want to kill japs
because you want to kill towelheads
because you want to kill Nazis
to find Osama Bin Laden and kick his ass (probably the greatest reason of all)
to kill real terrorists (not Iraqi civilians)
to kill Iraqi civilians
because you think you can force people to be free, even when their idea of freedom is radically different from yours.
to destroy Al Qaeda (another great reason)
for a good career (maybe)
to take out Saddam Hussein (no longer applicable)
to prepare for a career with the CIA
no more job hunting or resumes
pride
false pride
because you liked the boy scouts or girl scouts
you enjoy fighting
you enjoy martial arts
your parents or the politician near you won’t let you carry guns
you want to learn new languages
you are preparing to work for blackwater
to protect Israel (even though they don’t need or deserve our protection anymore than their neighbors)
because you think it’s your duty (…why?)
you are preparing for a criminal career
because you adore Hitler
because you want to be a skilled, high-profile terrorist
because you think you won’t be in the front lines
because you were drafted
because you were shafted
because your parents made you
because your family is way poor
because you got your high school sweetheart pregnant (need money)
because your girlfriend/boyfriend thinks men/women in uniforms are hot
because you think men/women in uniforms are hot
because you are gay (in the homosexual sense)
to freak your parents out
because your parents asked you not to
because you hate yourself
for the adrenaline rush
you like to go camping/hiking/hunting
to put your parents through hell
because you are not worried about brain damage
because you think you are invincible / indestructible
because you are not worried about amputation / blindness (extremities are redundant anyway)
because you look forward to begging for money on the streets as a war veteran
because you were told you would never see combat
because “more people get killed in NY than in Iraq” every day
because you can “choose any job you want” (hahahaha)
because you are not worried about blatant discrimination
because you detest freedom (your own)
because you didn’t realize there are many other ways to get all of the above
to take part in history (not too bad)
to become an officer (power)
to learn 100 ways to kill someone
to learn to defend yourself
to learn to defend yourself if you ever lead a revolution
because you thought you could quit anytime
because you thought it would be easy
because you want to learn to use nuclear weapons
to fly a jet
to learn to command a helicopter
because it might be funner than Halo
because you want to join a special operations team (even though you probably won’t make it due to competition)
to learn to be a sniper (could be neat)
because you enjoy war movies
because you are not smart enough to do something else
because you’ve always wondered what food in the military tastes like
to march around in funny suits
to join a band and wear funny suits
to clean toilets with only toothbrushes and spit
because it’s cool to get promoted
to challenge yourself (another good one)
to get strong
to get lean
to get in shape
to be prepared in the event of a terrorist attack
because you were abused as a child and want revenge (the training)
to get a free nosejob
free liposuction
free breast enlargement
breast augmentation
facelift
cosmetic surgery (courtesy of Donald Rumsfeld)
your girlfriend/boyfriend wants you to get plastic surgery
because you think you are patriotic
because you don’t realize that the military is making things worse for the United States and the world.
because you think you’ll be defending your country
EDIT: because you worship Bush (one of the worst reasons, probably)
EDIT 2: No, because you worship Giuliani, lol
shame on bush !
Man, For The Anti-War Reasons.
To Protest and Hate War. You Need Rights. If We Lost A War, You Wouldn't Have Those Rights To Hate It. So Love War For What It Is. Its Our Protection For Our Rights.
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