Top 55 Tech Quotes

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

4. 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL

9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN

10. -{----- The information went data way --------[

11. Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression

12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

14. The name is Baud......, James Baud.

15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

17. C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..

19. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.

23. E Pluribus Modem

24. ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny

26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/n)?

29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?

30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

31. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.

32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?

37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

40. All computers wait at the same speed.

41. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

42. Go ahead, make my data!

43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

50. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!

55. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ...

Top 8 Greatest Tech Quotes

1. Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare.Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false.

2. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.

3. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"

4. Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

5. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

6. Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.

7. Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes.

8. What do people mean when they say, "The computer went down on me."