Inspirational Quotes

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.

- Martha Washington Inspirational Quotes

Philosophy Quotes

Just as the wave cannot exist for itself, but is ever a part of the heaving surface of the ocean, so must I never live my life for itself, but always in the experience which is going on around me. It is an uncomfortable doctrine which the true ethics whisper into my ear. You are happy, they say; therefore you are called upon to give much.

- Famous Philosophy quotes Albert Schweitzer

Short Famous Quotes

The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Short Qutes

In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes.
- John Ruskin Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
- George Jean Nathan Famous Quotes

Daily Quotes

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw funny quotes.


But there are some people, nevertheless - and I am one of them - who think that the most practical and important thing about a man is still his view of the universe. We think that for a landlady considering a lodger, it is important to know his income, but still more important to know his philosophy. We think that for a general about to fight an enemy, it is important to know the enemy's numbers, but still more important to know the enemy's philosophy.
- G. K. Chesterton Famous Quotes

Daily Quotes

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe short quotes.

I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free than to a rich nation that had ceased to be in love with liberty. But we shall not be poor if we love liberty, because the nation that loves liberty truly sets every man free to do his best and be his best, and that means the release of all the splendid energies of a great people who think for themselves. A nation of employees cannot be free any more than a nation of employers can be.
- Woodrow Wilson Quotations

An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
- Charles Robert Darwin Quotes

Memorable Quotes

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
- Short Quotes by David Frost

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
- Funny Quotes by Laurence J. Peter

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager."
- William S. Burroughs Famous Quotations

Success Quotes

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Short Quotes

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns

Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
- Cullen Hightower

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
- Agnes de Mille

A martyr's disciples suffer more than the martyr.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Prayer of Saint Francis of Asisi

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace,
Where there is hatred, let me so love,
Where there is injury, pardon,
where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
where there is sadness, joy,

Oh Divine Master, grant,
that I may not so much seek to be consoled
as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love,
for it is in giving that we receive,
But it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Very inspirational prayer from Saint Francis. If we can even live up to one line from this prayer our world would be a different place.

Famous Quotes and Quotations

If there is a solution, then it isn't a problem.
- Contributed by an anonymous reader.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
- Famous Quotes by Samuel Johnson

Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
- Short Quotes by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We are so vain that we even care for the opinions of those we don't care for.
- Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830-1916) Austrian Novelist

"I am the thread that runs through all these pearls," and each pearl is a religion or even a sect thereof. Such are the different pearls, and God is the thread that runs through all of them; most people, however, are entirely unconscious of it.
- Vivekananda Inspirational Quotes

Short Famous Quotes. Inspirational Quotations

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.
- Peter McArthur

You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
- Warren Beatty

What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization.
- Abraham H. Maslow (1908-1970) American Psychologist, Philosopher

A good parent is only as happy as their most unhappy child.
- Mrs. R. C. Goorney

Famous Funny Quotes. Short Motivations

In words are seen the state of mind and character and disposition of the speaker.
- Motivational Quotes by Plutarch


Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.
- Short quotes General Patton


Being reproached for giving to an unworthy person, Aristotle said, 'I did not give it to the man, but to humanity.'
- Famous Quotes by Samuel Johnson

Short Quotes on Life. Happiness

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
- Happiness quotes by CP Snow. Inspirational quotations.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
- Funny quotes by Fletcher Knebel

Short Funny Quotes. Motivational Quotations

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.
- Short Funny Quotes by Jules Renard. Famous Motivational Quotations


Life is a long lesson in humility.
- Short quotes by James M. Barrie


Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
- Famous Quotes by William Goldman


The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
- Motivational quotes by Alan Kay


When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
- Best quotes by William Hazlitt

Short Quotes, Motivational Quotations and Sayings

To know another language is to have a second soul.
- Motivational Quotes by Charlemagne. Short Famous Quotations.

Wise men never sit and wail their loss, but cheerily seek how to redress their harms.
- Short Quotations by William Shakespeare

Inspirational Quotes and Sayings

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
- Elisabeth KuBler-Ross's Inspirational Quotes, Famous Quotations, Motivational Sayings


Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever.
- Short Quotes by Francois De La Rochefoucauld. Funny Quotations, Famous Sayings.

Short Quotes. Funny

Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a Mexican to work tomorrow.
Chris Rock's short funny quotes. Famous

Short Funny Quotes. Famous Quotations

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
- Short Funny Quotes by Jay Leno. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings.


There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.
- Inspirational Quotes by Pablo Picasso. Famous Quotations, Sayings.

Funny Sayings. Famous Quotes

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.
- Short Sayings by Oscar Wilde. Short Quotes and Quotations


When the politicians complain that TV turns the proceedings into a circus, it should be made clear that the circus was already there, and that TV has merely demonstrated that not all the performers are well trained.
- Short Quotes by Edward R. Murrow. Famous Quotations. Inspirational, Motivational Sayings


All that I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.
- Famous Quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Short Sayings, Motivational, Inspiratioional Quotatations.

Short Sayings, Quotes, Quotations

He who loves the world as his body may be entrusted with the empire.
- Short Quotes by Lao Tzu. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings. Motivational, Inspirational

Short Sayings, Quotations, Quotes

Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult.
- Short Quotes by Samuel Johnson. Motivatinal Quotations.


I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.
- Famous Quotations by Orson Welles. Short Funny Quotes. Funny Sayings. Inpspirational, Motivational.


The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
- Motivational Quotes, Famous Quotations by Bertrand Russell. Short Funny Sayings


All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
- Famous Quotes by Bobby Knight. Short Funny Quotations. Famous Sayings, Motivational


You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.
- Short Quotes by Olin Miller. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings


A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things.
- Famous Short Quotes by Herman Melville. Funny Sayings, and Quotations

Famous Funny Quotes

All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason.
- Short Quotes by Immanuel Kant. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings, Inspirational, Motivational


Formal religion was organized for slaves; it offered them consolation which earth did not provide.
- Short Funny Quotes by Elbert Green Hubbard. Inspirationa, Motivational Quotations, Sayings

Short Quotes. Famous, Motivational, Inspirational

The man who does not do his own thinking is a slave, and is a traitor to himself and to his fellow-men.
- Short Funny Quotes by Robert Ingersoll. Famous Quotations, Inspirational Sayings, Motivational.


A gentleman that loves to hear himself talk, will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
- Short Famous Quotes by William Shakespeare. Famous Sayings, Inspirational Quotations, Motivational.

Famous Quotes and Sayings

The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.
- Short Quotes by Albert Einstein. Famous Quotes, Inspirational Sayings, Motivational Quotations.


The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost Famous Quotations, Sayings, Motivational, Inspirational

Best Quotes

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.
- Best Short Quotes by Edward R. Murrow. Famous Quotations, Motivational Sayings, Best Funny Quotes

Short Famous Quotes

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy.
- Short Quotes by Robert Anthony. Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings, Motivational, Inspirational Quotes

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
- Short Famous Quotes by Doug Larson. Motivational Quotations, Funny Sayings

Famous Motivational Quotes

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
- Short Funny Quotes and Sayings by Otto Von Bismarck. Motivational, Inspirational Quotations

Famous Inspirational Quotes

Never judge a book by its movie.
- Short Quotes by JW Eagan

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
- Short Funny Quotes by Frank Leahy. Inspirational, Motivational Quotations

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
- Short Quotes by HL Mencken. Famous Quotations and Sayings

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
- Short Funny Quotes by Nancy Astor. Famous, Motivational, Inspirational Quotations and Sayings

Funny Famous Quotations

The most tyrannical of governments are those which make crimes of opinions, for everyone has an inalienable right to his thoughts.
- Famous Short Quotes by Baruch Spinoza. Inspirational, Motivational


I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
- Short Funny Quotes by Plutarch, Famous, Motivational

Motivational Quotes

Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.
- Short Quotes by James A. Michener. Funny Famous Quotations, Sayings


You know youve achieved perfection in design, not when you have nothing more to add, but when you have nothing more to take away.
- Short Quotations by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. Inspirational Quotes, Sayings


There is absolutely no inevitability as long as there is a willingness to contemplate what is happening.
- Short Quotes by Marshall McLuhan. Famous Quotations. Funny Sayings.


In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves.
- Famous Quotations by RA Butler. Inspirational Sayings, Motivational Quotes.


Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
- Famous Quotations by Tom Stoppard. Funny Sayings. Motivational, Inspirational


The big thieves hang the little ones.
- Funny Quotes from a Czech Proverb. Short Quotations. Famous, Inspirational Sayings

Short Quotes

It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes Short Quotes, Inspirational, Motivational Quotations and Sayings

The people have a right to the truth as they have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
- Epictetus Inspirational Quotations, Short Funny Quotes. Famous Sayings

Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
- George Bernard Shaw Famous Quotations, Short Funny Quotes and Sayings

Short Sayings and Quotes

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious ... the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science.
- Albert Einstein Short Quotes, Famous Quotations and Sayings


One ought to examine himself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others.
- Moliere Famous Quotes, Short Quotations and Sayings


Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.
- Albert Einstein Short Quotes and Sayings


America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
- Evan Esar Famous Quotes and Short Funny Sayings

When twenty years ago a vague terror went over the earth and the word socialism began to be heard, I thought and still think that fear was translated into doctrines that had no proper place in the Constitution or the common law. Judges are apt to be naif, simple-minded men, and they need something of Mephistopheles. We too need education in the obvious - to learn to transcend our own convictions and to leave room for much that we hold dear to be done away with short of revolution by the orderly change of law.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Short Funny Quotes. Famous Quotations, Inspirational Sayings.

Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled.
- Michael Crichton Famous Quotations

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
- Will Durant Short Sayings

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
- Henry Kissinger Funny Quotes and Quotations

Great Funny Quotes

Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men, even when they exercise influence and not authority: still more when you superadd the tendency or the certainty of corruption by authority.
- Lord Acton Short Funny Quotes, Quotations and Sayings

There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking; as there are fruits that are not good until they are rotten.
- Samuel Johnson Famous Funny Quotes

Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice.
- George Jackson

The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness.
- Andre Malraux Funny Famous Quotations

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Short Quotes and Sayings

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
- Tommy Cooper Famous Funny Short Quotes

Funny & Famous Quotes

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
- Jack London Funny Short Quotes and Sayings

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson Famous quotations and sayings.

If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city.
- Charles Caleb Colton Funny Quotes

Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds.
- Samuel Butler Short Really Funny Quotes.

Take away the danger and remove the restraint, and wayward nature runs free.
- Horace Funny Famous Quotes

New Quotes

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Horace Walpole, Famous Short Quotes

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
Eugene McCarthy Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes

Funny and Famous Quotes

If a person never contradicts himself, it must be that he says nothing.
- Miguel De Unamuno Y Jugo Funny Quotes

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes


The achievement of one goal should be the starting point of another.
- From a great selection of Funny Short Quotes by Alexander Graham Bell

A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Inspirational Quotes, Motivational, Short Famous Quotes.



Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.
- George Santayana Short Funny Quotes, Motivational, Inspirational.

Famous Funny Quotes, Quotations

Were we as eloquent as angels we still would please people much more by listening rather than talking.
- Charles Caleb Colton Famous Quotes, Motivational Quotations and Inspirational Sayings



Abstract art is a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
- Al Capp Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Motivational Sayings

Famous Quotes and Sayings

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
- Dave Barry Famous Quotes and Quotations



There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Funny Quotations and Sayings



I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.
- Fritz Perls Famous Quotes and Sayings


Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
- Gordon R. Dickson Funny Sayings and Quotes

Sad, but Funny Quotes

10 Unbelievable Quotes from Tom Delay

1) "So many minority youths had volunteered that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself." --Tom DeLay, explaining at the 1988 GOP convention why he and vice presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not fight in the Vietnam War

2) "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" -Tom Delay, to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 9, 2005

3) "I AM the federal government." -Tom DeLay, to the owner of Ruth's Chris Steak House, after being told to put out his cigar because of federal government regulations banning smoking in the building, May 14, 2003

4) "We're no longer a superpower. We're a super-duper power." -Tom DeLay, explaining why America must topple Saddam Hussein in 2002 interview with Fox News

5) "Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." -Tom DeLay, March 12, 2003

6) "Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who take birth control pills." -Tom DeLay, on causes of the Columbine High School massacre, 1999

7) "A woman can take care of the family. It takes a man to provide structure. To provide stability. Not that a woman can't provide stability, I'm not saying that... It does take a father, though." -Tom DeLay, in a radio interview, Feb. 10, 2004

8) "I don't believe there is a separation of church and state. I think the Constitution is very clear. The only separation is that there will not be a government church." -Tom DeLay

9) "Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by on $4.25 an hour [the minimum wage in 1996] are hard to resist. Fortunately, such families do not exist." -Tom DeLay, during a debate in Congress on increasing the minimum wage, April 23, 1996

10) "I am not a federal employee. I am a constitutional officer. My job is the Constitution of the United States, I am not a government employee. I am in the Constitution." -Tom DeLay, in a CNN interview, Dec. 19, 1995

Funny Quotes, Thanksgiving Quotations

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Jon Stewart Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Sayings

Inspirational Quotes

If the going is real easy, beware, you may be headed down hill.
- Unknown Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotations, Funny Sayings


A person's true wealth is the good he or she does in the world.
- Mohammed Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotations, Famous Daily Sayings


To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
- Anatole France Famous Quotes, Inspirational Sayings and Motivational Quotations

Short Sayings

I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
- Neil Armstrong Short Sayings

Black Holes are where God divided by zero.
- Anonymous Short Sayings

Inspirational Motivational Quotes

I found a great quote that I wanted to share with everyone. Please feel free to comment.

Great minds discuss ideas
Average minds discuss events
Small minds discuss people
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Inspirational, Motivational Quotes and Sayings

Funny Short Quotes

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
- Thomas Szasz Funny Short Quotes, Daily Quotes, Short Sayings


Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Short Sayings


I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
- Fred Allen Funny Short Quotes. Daily Quotes.

Inspirational, Motivational, Funny Quotes, Sayings and Quotations

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
- Ellen Goodman Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Inspirational and Motivational Sayings


Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- HL Mencken Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Inspirational and Motivational Sayings

We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.
- Maurice Maeterlinck Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Inspirational Sayings


All television is children's television.
- Richard P. Adler Famous Quotations, Funny Quotes, Inspirational Sayings

Funny Quotes, Famous, Inspirational, Motivational

The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.
- Herbert Agar Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotations, Inspirational Sayings.


I think the world is run by 'C' students.
- Al McGuire Famous Quotations, Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Inspirational Sayings.


Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
- Leo Tolstoy Famous Quotations, Daily Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Inspirational Sayings.

Funny, Famous, Inspirational, Motivational Quotes

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
- Margo Kaufman Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Daily Quotes, Inspirational Sayings.


Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
- George Bernard Shaw Inspirational Quotations, Famous Quotes, Funny Sayings


In a mad world only the mad are sane.
- Akira Kurosawa Famous Quotations, Funny Quotes, Inspirational Sayings, Daily Quotes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- HL Mencken Daily Quotes, Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations.

Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
- Wilson Mizner Daily Quotes, Famous Quotations, Inspirational Short Sayings.

Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Inspirational Sayings

The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
- Sophocles Famous Quotations, Sayings, Quotes


If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.
- IF Stone Funny Quotes, Inspirational Quotations


Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
- Charles M. Schulz Famous Quotes, Inspirational Sayings, Funny Quotations

Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations

Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.
- AJ Liebling Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Short Sayings


What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease.
- George Dennison Prentice Funny Quotes, Motivational, Inspirational

Famous Quotes, Funny Saying, Quotations

Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
- Bertrand Russell Famous Quotes, Funny Quotations, Sayings

Funny Quotes. Famous Quotations

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.

Totie Fields Funny Quotes, Famous Quotations, Inspirational Sayings

Inspirational, Motivational, Funny Quotes, Sayings

It may be that the old astrologers had the truth exactly reversed, when they believed that the stars controlled the destinies of men. The time may come when men control the destinies of stars.

Arthur C. Clarke Short Funny Quotes. Daily Quotes. Famous Quotations. Inspirational Sayings.


People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.

- Dale Carnegie Famous Quotes. Funny Quotations. Inspirational, Motivational Sayings

Inspirational Quotes

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Leo Buscaglia Inspirational Quotes, Famous Quotations, Funny Sayings, Motivational Quotes.


What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?
Jean Jacques Rousseau Famous Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotations, Motivational Quotes


Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we think, say, want and do.
Emmanuel Swedenborg Inspirational Quotes, Famous Quotations, Motivational Quotes

Movie Quotations

American Beauty Movie Quotes:

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.



I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.
Movie Quotations

Funny Quotations, Famous Quotes

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
Don Marquis - Famous Quotations, Funny Quotes, Short Quotes, Daily Quotes


Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
Albert Einstein - Famous, Funny Quotes, Daily Quotations

Short, Famous, Funny, Quotes, Quotations, Sayings

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
Krishnamurti Daily Quotes, Motivational Quotations, Famous Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Sayings


Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the mind is never new, fresh, innocent.
Krishnamurti Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotations, Sayings. Short Funny Quotes.

Religion Quotes

A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair.
Abraham Joshua - Religion Quotes. Famous Quotes. Daily Quotations. Great Sayings.


Albert Einstein Quotes:

True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.
Albert Einstein Quotations. Religion Quotes. Famous Quotes. Inspirational Quotes. Daily Quotations. Great Sayings. Motivational Quotes.



Albert Einstein Quotes:

All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.
Albert Einstein Quotations. Motivational Quotes. Religion Quotes. Famous Quotes. Inspirational Quotes. Great Sayings. Daily Quotations.

Business Advice

Quotes on Business Advice:


Business ideas are all around you. They are lurking in your garage, in your basement, in your kitchen, and in your children’s room. You’ll find them in magazine ads, at your neighbor’s house, and at work. They are right there in the vegetables you brought in from the yard . . . in the stack of papers next to your laser printer . . . in the back of your truck . . . and at the back of your mind.
Business Advice, Famous Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Funny Sayings, Inspirational Quotations.

Finance Quotes. Investment Quotes. Investing Quotes.

I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that, for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well.
Alan Greenspan Finance Quotes, Mortgage Quotes, Investing Quotations, Investment Quotes

The true measure of a career is to be able to be content, even proud, that you succeeded through your own endeavors without leaving a trail of casualties in your wake.
Alan Greenspan Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations, Mortgage Quotes, Investment Quotes

I do not deny that many appear to have succeeded in a material way by cutting corners and by manipulating associates, both in their professional and in their personal lives. But material success is possible in this world and far more satisfying when it comes without exploiting others.
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations, Mortgage Quotes

It has been my experience that competency in mathematics, both in numerical manipulations and in understanding its conceptual foundations, enhances a person's ability to handle the more ambiguous and qualitative relationships that dominate our day-to-day financial decision-making
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations, Mortgage Quotes

Any informed borrower is simply less vulnerable to fraud and abuse
Alan Greenspan Mortgage Quotes, Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations

To succeed, you will soon learn, as I did, the importance of a solid foundation in the basics of education--literacy, both verbal and numerical, and communication skills.
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations, Mortgage Quotes

It is decidedly not true that "nice guys finish last," as that highly original American baseball philosopher, Leo Durocher, was alleged to have said.
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Investing Quotations, Finance Quotes, Mortgage Quotes

I was a good amateur but only an average professional. I soon realized that there was a limit to how far I could rise in the music business, so I left the band and enrolled at New York University.
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Mortgage Quotes, Investing Quotations

Finance. Investment. Investing Advice

I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that, for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well.
Alan Greenspan Finance Quotes, Mortgage Quotes, Investing Quotations, Investment Quotes

The true measure of a career is to be able to be content, even proud, that you succeeded through your own endeavors without leaving a trail of casualties in your wake.
Alan Greenspan Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations, Mortgage Quotes, Investment Quotes

I do not deny that many appear to have succeeded in a material way by cutting corners and by manipulating associates, both in their professional and in their personal lives. But material success is possible in this world and far more satisfying when it comes without exploiting others.
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations, Mortgage Quotes

It has been my experience that competency in mathematics, both in numerical manipulations and in understanding its conceptual foundations, enhances a person's ability to handle the more ambiguous and qualitative relationships that dominate our day-to-day financial decision-making
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations, Mortgage Quotes

Any informed borrower is simply less vulnerable to fraud and abuse
Alan Greenspan Mortgage Quotes, Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations

To succeed, you will soon learn, as I did, the importance of a solid foundation in the basics of education--literacy, both verbal and numerical, and communication skills.
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Investing Quotations, Mortgage Quotes

It is decidedly not true that "nice guys finish last," as that highly original American baseball philosopher, Leo Durocher, was alleged to have said.
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Investing Quotations, Finance Quotes, Mortgage Quotes

I was a good amateur but only an average professional. I soon realized that there was a limit to how far I could rise in the music business, so I left the band and enrolled at New York University.
Alan Greenspan Investment Quotes, Finance Quotes, Mortgage Quotes, Investing Quotations

Business Quotes

I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter. (Walt Disney) Short Funny Quotes

Keep it simple, stupid. (KISS) Famous Quotes

I would not give a fig for the simplicity this side of complexity, but I would give my life for the simplicity on the other side of complexity. (Oliver Wendell Holmes) Funny Quotes

Stick to the knitting. (Proverb) Motivational Quotes

Every decision you make is a mistake. (Edward Dahlberg) Inspirational Quotes

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. (H L Mencken) Really Funny Quotes

A man who cannot make mistakes cannot do anything. (Bernard's Bingo Magazine) Motivational Quotes

The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything. (Theodore Roosevelt) Inspirational Quotes

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. (Mitch Ratliffe) Funny Sayings

More can be learned from what works than from what fails. (Rene Dubois) Famous Quotes

Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits. (Robert Louis Stephenson) Business Quotes

May you live in interesting times. (Chinese curse) Famous Sayings

Only one thing is certain - that is, nothing is certain. If this statement is true, it is also false. (Ancient Paradox)

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. (Will Rogers) Famous Sayings

Behold the turtle, he makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. (Bruce Levin)
Business Quotes

Patience in the present, faith in the future, and joy in the doing. (George Perera, MD) Funny Sayings

There is nothing more requisite in business than despatch. (Joseph Addison)

There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action. (Goethe) Business Quotes

Nothing is more terrible than activity without insight. (Thomas Carlyle) Funny Sayings

A moments insight is sometimes worth a life's experience. (Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it. (Henry Ford) Funny Sayings

Think. (IBM slogan)

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. (George Patton)
Business Quotes

Imagine. (Apple slogan)

Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness. (Cullen Hightower)

If you find a good solution and become attached to it, the solution may become your next problem. (Robert Anthony) Funny Sayings

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat. (Sun Tzu) Famous Quotes

Planning without action is futile, action without planning is fatal (Unknown) Business Quotes

The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. (Sun Tzu)
Business Quotes

If a man will begin with certainties he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties. (Francis Bacon)

Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation. (Proverb)
Never tell me the odds. (Han Solo, Starfighter)

She didn't know it couldn't be done, so she went ahead and did it. (Mary's Almanac)
The new ruler must determine all the injuries that he will need to inflict. He must inflict them once and for all. (Niccolo Machiavelli)

"No, no !" said the Queen. "Sentence first - verdict afterwards". (Lewis Carroll)

When a management with a reputation for brilliance tackles a business with a reputation for bad economics, it is the reputation of the business that remains intact. (Warren Buffet)

The best executive has the sense enough to pick good men, and the self-restraint enough to keep from meddling. (Theodore Roosevelt) Business Quotes

An overburdened, overstretched executive is the best executive, because he or she doesn't have the time to meddle, to deal in trivia, to bother people (Jack Welch) Famous Quotes


Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenity. (General George S Patton Jr)

The person who figures out how to harness the collective genius of his or her organization is going to blow the competition away. (Walter Wriston)
Business Quotes

Funny Sayings

Boxing is just show business with blood.
- Frank Bruno Funny Sayings, Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Inpirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes


Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.
- Vivekananda Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes and Sayings.

Short Funny Quotes

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
Sean O Casey Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Love Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes


We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld Short Funny Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes


Washington is the only place where sound travels faster than light
- CVR Thompson Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Funny Sayings

Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.
- James Thurber Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Funny Quotes


Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.
- Gallagher Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes, Short Funny Quotes


Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know.
- Cullen Hightower Inspirational Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Funny Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

Famous Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Sayings

Not being able to do everything is no excuse for not doing everything you can.

- Ashleigh Brilliant Famous Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Sayings, Quotations

Famous Quotes on Life, Funny Quotes, Inspirational, Motivational

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"

-Sydney J. Harris Famous Quotes, Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Quotations

Motivational Quotes

A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.

- Opening scene of "Faust" - Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Famous Quotes



The only job where you start at the top, is digging a hole.

- unknown Motivational Quotes, Famous Quotes, Inspirational Quotes



The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Famous Quotes, Quotations

Motivational Quotes

A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.

- Opening scene of "Faust" - Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Famous Quotes


The only job where you start at the top, is digging a hole.

- unknown Motivational Quotes, Famous Quotes, Inspirational Quotes



The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.

- Charles Swindoll Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Famous Quotes, Quotations

Inspirational Quotes

It is not the critic who counts,
nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs and comes short again and again;
who knows great enthusiasms, great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those timid souls
who know neither victory nor defeat.

- Theodore Roosevelt Inpirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Famous Quotes


It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

Voltaire Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes

My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!

Funny Quotes by Sarah Silverman.


I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other one could drive.

Steven Wright Funny Quotes


If I ever have twins, I'd use one for parts.

Funny Quotes by Steven Wright


My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game.

Bill Dwyer Funny Quotes

Daily Quotes

What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to.

- Hansell B. Duckett Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes

Famous Quotes

In case you're worried about what's going to become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.

- Roger Allen Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes

Famous Quotes

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

- Plato Famous Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes

Movie Quotes

Movie Quotes

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

Movie Quotes – Fight Club, Funny Movie Quotes, Great Movie Quotes


Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Movie Quotes – Fight Club, Funny Movie Quotes, Great Movie Quotes


You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Movie Quotes – Fight Club, Funny Movie Quotes, Great Movie Quotes



It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.

Movie Quotes – Fight Club, Funny Movie Quotes, Great Movie Quotes


The things you own end up owning you.

Movie Quotes – Fight Club, Funny Movie Quotes, Great Movie Quotes



We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

Movie Quotes – Fight Club, Funny Movie Quotes, Great Movie Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Motivational, Inspirational

Albert Einstein Quotes. Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

Great Albert Einstein Quotes. Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

A photograph never grows old. You and I change, people change all through the months and years, but a photograph always remains the same. How nice to look at a photograph of mother or father taken many years ago. You see them as you remember them. But as people live on, they change completely. That is why I think a photograph can be kind.

Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes, Funny Quotes, Motivational, Inspirational

Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Motivational, Inspirational, Famous

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.

- Bertrand Russell Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Quotes

Famous Movie Quotes

Famous Movie Quotes, Funny Movie Quotes

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.
~ Samuel Goldwyn Famous Movie Quotes, "Funny Movie Quotes"

Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood.
~ Walt Disney "Famous Movie Quotes", Funny Movie Quotes

No form of art goes beyond ordinary consciousness as film does, straight to our emotions, deep into the twilight of the soul.
~ Ingrid Bergman Famous Movie Quotes, Funny Movie Quotes

A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet.
~ Orson Welles Famous Movie Quotes, Funny Movie Quotes

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.
~ Alfred Hitchcock Famous Movie Quotes, Funny Movie Quotes

This film cost $31 million. With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.
~ Clint Eastwood "Famous Movie Quotes", Funny Movie Quotes

I don't take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.
~ Bette Davis Famous Movie Quotes, "Funny Movie Quotes"

Politics Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes, Inspirational, Motivational

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

- Ronald Reagan

Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Daily Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Motivational, Inspirational Quotes

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

- Henry Ford (1863-1947) Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes

Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes. Short Funny Quotes

Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another.
- Anatole France Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes, Funny Quotes



The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it.
- Doris Day Daily Quotes, Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Love Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes on Experience. Short Funny Quotes

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
-Funny Quotes by Barry LePatner. Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Motivational and Inspirational Quotes


Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.
- Funny Quotes by Soren Kierkegaard. Famous Quotes, "Short Funny Quotes", Famous Quotes, Motivational and Inspirational Quotes

Funny Quotes on Experience. Short Funny Quotes

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
-Funny Quotes by Barry LePatner. Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Motivational and Inspirational Quotes


Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.
- Funny Quotes by Soren Kierkegaard. Famous Quotes, "Short Funny Quotes", Famous Quotes, Motivational and Inspirational Quotes

Short Funny Quotes on Bush. Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

Just imagine how President Bush would write the traditional back-to-school assignment, What I Did On My Summer Vacation: My five weeks on the ranch started with an angry war mom exciting the farm animals (the press corps), and ended with New Orleans turning into a swamp. So I guess I'd have to quote the old joke about what they said to Mrs. Lincoln: "Other than that, how was the theater?"
Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

Government - Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, its just the opposite.
- John Kenneth Galbraith Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
- Cullen Hightower Daily Quotes, Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
- Wilson Mizner Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

My favorite animal is steak.
- Fran Lebowitz Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes

Divorce - Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Funny Quotes

My husband taught me housekeeping; when I get divorced, I keep the house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Love Quotes

Funny Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- HL Mencken Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes


Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes, Short Funny Quotes


Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.
Albert Einstein Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes, Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes on Money. Famous Movie Quotes

I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.

Famous Movie Quotes. Short Funny Quotes on Money. Daily Quotes

Albert Einstein Short Funny Quotes. Famous Quotes

Albert Einstein Quotes: If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.

Race and Racism. Short Funny Quotes by Albert Einstein, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes

Funny Quotes by Comedians

"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own."

Les Dawson Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes.



"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."

Steve Martin Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes.



"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

David Letterman Short Funny Quotes, Famous Quotes, Daily Quotes.



"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

Dave Edison Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes.

"I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb."

Freddie Starr Short Funny Quotes, Daily Quotes, Famous Quotes.

Funny Quotes on President Bush. Short Funny Quotes

President Bush keeps saying 'sacrifice' and the 'war on terror,' and you turn around and he's in a field of poppies with Lance Armstrong.

-- Funny Quotes! Funny Quotes! Funny Quotes! by Jon Stewart on President Bush. "Short Funny Jokes"

Funny Quotes by Chris Rock. Short Funny Quotes

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

- Funny Quotes! Funny Quotes! Funny Quotes! Daily Quotes, Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes by Chris Rock. Daily Quotes

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

- Short Funny Quotes by Chris Rock, "Funny Quotes", Famous Quotes,