1. Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare.Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false.
2. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
3. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
4. Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
5. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
6. Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.
7. Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes.
8. What do people mean when they say, "The computer went down on me."