Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Short Funny Quotes by Chris Rock. Daily Quotes

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

- Short Funny Quotes by Chris Rock, "Funny Quotes", Famous Quotes,

1 comment:

macvegan said...

what about po moma........

Yo mama's like a pirate, there she blows
Yo mama is so fat she has three shirt sizes, jumbo, humongus, and "OH

Yo mama so poor i saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing she said moving.
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so damn stupid on a job application it said "sex" and she wrote Monday wednesday and sometimes friday.

Paris and Rico walked into the locker room holding his side and bending over. Paris says "ow man im so sore" Dario asks " whats wrong?" Paris replies " man yo mama was rough last night" Rico adds " she needs to loosen up"

Yo mama such a dirty whore that they're having to paternity test the whole state of Texas just to find out who yo daddy is!

Yo mamma so old that in the back seat of your car, kids don't say 'Are we there yet', they scream, 'Is she Dead yet!'

Yo mamas so hairy wen u were born u almost died of rugburn

Yo mama smells so bad, when she went to make friends with a skunk, the skunk got hit by a truck on purpose!

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a bathroom and nearly pissed her
Yo mama so fat her logo is "we are family, burger king, mc donalds and
Yo mama so fat she has all the food caterers on speed dial

Yo mama is so big she tripped over wal-mart and landed on target and evey time she passes by the t.v. i miss a seoson of friends

Your mommas so old someone told her to act her age and she died

Yo mama so poor that when i stepped on a cigarette she cried, hey, who turned off the heater.

Your sister is so ugly she reminds me of your mom.

Yo mamma so ugly, yo daddy would rather kiss her ass before going work everyday

Your moms so ugly the mailman mistacked her as the dog.

You mama so fat she stepped on an airplane and it turned into a submarine

This is a fact, yo mama's breath Is wack, she needs a tic, not a tac, but the whole damn pack
I don't mean to be mean, but yo mama needs listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole damn bottle.

Yo Mama's teeth are so yellow, cars slow down when she smiles!
Yo Mama's breath is so bad, she made a tic tac run away!

Your jokes are so corny that the corns on your toes got jealous.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked out the window she was arrested for 1st degree murder.

Yo mama like a fast food restaraunt - quick and easy!!!

Yo moma is so fat when it rains she uses a highway for a slip 'n' slide

Yo mamma so damn fat that when she traveled back to the dinosaur times and she took a step the dinosaurs said what the hell is happing...oh shit its a real damn earthquake.

Your mama so stupid when she saw a kid dress as a devil in halloween she thouth she was in hell

Yo Momma's so ugly, even Sloth from the Goonies wouldn't date her.

Yo mama like a shotgun - five cocks and shes loaded

Yo Mamma so damn ugly she makes Anne Ramsey look like J Lo.

Yo' mamma so ugly she got arrested for vandalizing a mirror shop.

Yo mama so stupid she put a peep hole in a glass door

Yo mama like nascar - two rubbers and shes ready to ride.

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind man cry!

Yo mamma so old, fat and hairy, that when she took you to the zoo the zookeepers thought a silverback Gorilla had abducted you!

Yo mama so fat, that when u were born, they had 2 send out a search party to find ya!

Yo mama soooo ugly, she works as a double for Saddam Hussein.

Yo moma so stupid if she would to speak her mind she would be speachless

Yo mama soooo poor she can't even pay attention!

Yo kid brother so damn ugly that the kids at school have started saying, "Hey Gollum, give us your autograph"

Yo mama so0o0o fat, one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling, "Hey, the School Bus is here!"

Yo mama so0o0o fat, she takes baths in the Atlantic Ocean

Listen buddy, your mommy is so freakin dumb that if you told her pappa was a rolling stone, she'd tell her momma to put mick jagger on child support!

Yo Momma so damn fat the Police where going to use her as an emergency air mattress when Michael Jackson started dangling his baby.

Hey, yo momma so damn fat when her beeper goes off people turn around to see if she is backin up!!

Yo moma so fat when she wears a yellow rain coat all the people yell "taxi"

Yo mama's so damn fat that when she was kidnapped her face covered every side of the milk carton!

You so ugly when a friend walked you into school the teachers said sorry no pets aloud!

Your Mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the super bowl.

Yo Mama's so damn ugly that she turned your dad gay.

Yo mama's so bald, Mr. Clean got jealous.

Hey, your Momma is so sluttie I'd call her a hoe but hoes' get paid.

Yo Mamas so damn greasy that she has to use bacon for a bandaid.

Yo' mama so dumb she got locked inside Matress World and slept on the floor.

Yomomma so hairy that when she puts her arm to her side it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.

Yo mama so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to sea world the little kids ran away and told their parents that a whale escaped.

Yo' Mamma is so fat she uses a VHS as a beeper!

Yo mama so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch.

Yo' Mamma is so fat she uses a VHS as a beeper!

Your mama's so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

Yo Mama so damn old she used to Gang Bang with the Flintstones and had an affair with Captain Caveman.

Yo mamas so fat she shoved a battery up her ass and yelled "I got the Power!".

Yo mama so stupid and clumsy, she got tangled in a cordless phone.

Yo mama soooo fat, she put on a yellow dress and the kids thought she was the school bus.

Yo' Sista's just like a like a Popsicle - everybody wants a fuckin lick!

Yo Mamma's so hairy she just got an armpit trim and lost 20 pounds!

Yo Moma sooooo ugly, I could have been yo Daddy but the dog beat me under the fence!

Yo momma is soooooo stupid, she wears a t-shirt that says "hukd on fonicks woorkd fo mi"

Yo mam like a screen door - after a couple of bangs she tends to loosen up.

Yo mama is so fat she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!

Yo mama so stupid she puts a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept

I heard that Yo mama is on the warpath - she lost a finger and now can't count past 9...

Yo mama so nasty when she masterbates, she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.

Yo mama's blind and is seeing another man.

Yo mama's glasses are so damn thick she can see into the future.

Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

You gotta tell yo moma to stop changing lipstick color - I'm now getting a freakin Rainbow on my d**k!

Yo sista so damn stupid on her last job application where it said 'Sex?' she marked "M, F, and occasionally on a Thursday too.."

You' big brother so damn stupid that on his last job application, under emergency contact he put 999 (911).

Yo mam is so stupid - I just aks her about her X-Men and she said: "Well, my first baby's daddy was Jimmy...and I still see Johnny on Fridays...."

Yo Grannie so stupid she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

Yo Mother in law's teeth are so yellow, Dorothy and Toto thought it was the Yellow Brick Road.

Yo Momma's like a Snickers bar - packed full with with nuts.

Yo ex-girlfriend's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.

Yo mama's like a race car driver...she burns a lot of rubbers...

Yo Auntie just like the Suez Canal - Vessels full of Seamen passing through everyday...

Yo gilfriends's afro so damb big, when the bitch got in my car everyone thought I had tinted windows.

Yo Mama ass so huge she take up 5 rows in the cinema...

Yo Papa's so short, he tried to commit suicide with a pin.

Yo Grannie's so enormous that when she went to the drycleaners to hand in her underwear, they put up a sign - 'NO PARACHUTES ALLOWED'

You Biology teacher so freakin stupid she thinks that DNA is the National Dyslexics Association.

Yo' best friend so idiotic she thoughtt Menopause was a button on her walkman.

You Momma so fat and stupid that her waist is bigger than her I.Q.

Tell Yo' girlfriend my Dog wanna know how much he owes her for last night...

Yo' papa so damn strange that he invented a water-proof teabag.

Yo mother in law so bald that when she put on a sweater, folk thought she was a roll on deoderant!

Did you know flies were given wings so that they could beat yo mama to the dump?

I heard yo house was made out of bog paper - why? cuz your whole family full of crap!

Yo kid brother so fat and ugly Peter Jackson offered him the part of the Cave Troll in lord of the rings

You Nose so damn big that we use yer snotters as Footballs.

Yo Momma so mad that she even made Kurt Russell escape from LA.

Yo Nana so ghetto she washes paper plates.

Oi, yo need to tell you mama to stop wearing the blue lipstick...I got balls like a smurf now!

You so skinny, you turned sideways and disappeared.

Yo mama's so bald, when she braids her hair, it remind me of stitches.

Yo Mama so fat when she steps on a scale it reads "One at a time, please".

Yo mama so fat and stupid that she was fired from Forrest Gump cuz she kept eating the box of chocolates.

Yo Sista so fat the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.

Yo Mama so poor that she uses tumbleweed as a Xmas tree.

You Mommy so hairy she's got afros on her nipples.

Yo' mama breath so disgustingly bad that she needs Freshmints with batteries in it

Yo Papa's like an old arcade machine - toss in a quarter and you can play with his joystick.

Yo mama such a bitch, she interned for Clinton.